8 Rules of Marriage

 8 Rules for Marriage: After 15 years together, we have learned a few lessons… 

1. Learn new things together.

After 15 years, you can still learn new things about each other through new experiences.

Take a class, try a new sport, explore a new country!

2. Be flexible.

Things are not as black and white as you think. And plans are never set in stone – Being a parent will teach you that as well!

3. Most disappointments are due to having unmet expectations.

Go into situations with managed expectations.

This is key for holidays, birthdays, vacations  because things will never be like the movies… but they can be imperfectly perfect. read more

How to Lose in Marriage

how to lose in marriage

How to Lose in Marriage

 

Losing in marriage isn’t really talked about very often. No one wants to lose the argument or put others first. This is something that I have to make a choice to follow through daily. We are currently going through a series at Journey Christian church  by Andy Stanley called “Staying in Love.” The general premise is that “falling” in love is easy, staying in love is much harder.

 

Make Love a Verb

Love can be a noun or a verb read more

Living within your means

Adam and I were married really young (21 & 19 respectively).

I am so thankful we were introduced to Dave Ramsey before we were married. I will credit this to Daryl Wolgemuth teaching one night at the college group. From that point on, Adam and I read Dave Ramsey’s books and listened to his radio show preparing us for when we were going to have to live on a budget.

It is said that before you get married you need to agree on the 4 main pieces: Money, Dealing with In-laws, Children, and Religion. Doing so will save you from a multitude of fights and disagreements later on.

Some of Dave Ramsey’s principles I wanted to share today that impacts us:

We live off a budget and we stick to it.

In this day in age where it is so easy to get a credit line, we have chosen to pay cash for everything (except our house). Playing with credit is dangerous. It doesn’t allow you to save for things and treasure them. Secondly, it forces you to live within your means. I have to say, when we were first married, we were broke. But we started saving our money from that first paycheck. Now, we both have very good jobs and are much more relaxed, but still hold true to the principles we learned when we were just barely making it.

We don’t buy things that don’t matter.

Neither of us are spenders in general. Gifts are not our love language, so that makes it easy. We changed how we spend our money to help us value what we do have. We stopped buying cheap DVD’s just because they were cheap (This was kind of a hobby Adam picked up!). We think about every purchase asking “Do I really need this?” This usually stops me from buying another shirt at the store, because I know I have several shirts I haven’t worn in forever – why add another to the pile? I also follow a list at the store pretty closely to keep me from buying anything that I don’t need or I already have at home.

We shop for deals. If I can buy something cheaper online, I usually do. I buy somethings in bulk to save money. We use red-box instead of renting from the store – or going to the theater.

We buy used. I shop consignment stores for good deals on clothes for Aidalyn. We also buy used cars.

We save money. 

Each money, we put a percentage of our money in savings for retirement.

We give money away.

This message is taught in the Bible. The more you give, the richer you will be (maybe not richer in earthy values). It may be counter productive mentally. The bible says it is better to give than receive. This may not even be in money. You can give your time as well.

It is important to remember how to view money. Our money isn’t our money at all. It is a tool God gives to us to provide for us and to bless other people. God allows people to have money, not to hoard it, but to be his hands and feet. He is actually giving you a gift, so you can then get the joy of giving it away – how neat is that?

What are ways that you save your money?