In 2013 I had a disc rupture in my lower back that sent me into emergency spinal surgery. I was off work for several weeks, then finally recovered and it happened again just 2 weeks after being back to work. In total I have had 3 surgeries and multiple injections and prescriptions spanning 2 years. I’ve been on pain medication and steroids for inflammation and had many sleepless nights. I also gained so much weight because of lack of mobility and the pain was a daily struggle. I worked in the surgical department at a nearby hospital and my personal surgeon told me I wouldn’t get better until I was off my feet. That my job was only making the problem worse and I wouldn’t heal standing on my feet for hours on end, lifting patients and heavy equipment day after day. I loved my job and I loved helping people but the pain was unbearable most days. All of the pain and frustration led me to a really dark place in my life I was irritable and no fun to be around. I was a horrible wife and did not have my best days as a mother either. Even sitting on the floor playing legos was unthinkable. I shut out people I cared about and threw a giant pitty-party for myself.From Julie:
Every picture of myself was cropped from the waist down because I couldn’t stand to see just how big I had gotten. Some people say it wasn’t noticeable (I think they are just being polite). For me, I had always been a small framed girl, so this was really hard to swallow. In 2015, I decided I couldn’t continue this cycle of being over-weight and tired and weak. I couldn’t work out because I was tired and I was over-weight because I didn’t work out and I was weak and not helping the pain because I was over-weight. I decided I had to do something.The weight gain frankly just made me sad.
I’d lose the weight and put it back on and I would eat right for a while and then I would cave…. so began another vicious cycle. At the end of this year I became very ill and had to have another surgery. This sent me back to the pain meds and the weight gain. And I was sad again for months I just figured.. “Well I am 43 years old and the mother of 2 boys, maybe this is just how it is…”So for an entire year I was like a yo-yo.
I was Ready for a ChangeEarly in 2016 (3 Years after the incident),
I was done feeling sorry for myself