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Have you ever experienced mom guilt before? Here are 3 Questions to Ask When You Have Mom Guilt to help you move past the guilt and live your best life.
Listen to the Grassfed Mama Podcast Episode or read on to get the details!
Do You Struggle With Mom Guilt?
Hey there, how are you doing today! I was thinking about this idea about mom guilt and how we can start living the life we are called to live without any guilt.
Do you ever feel like you struggle with mom guilt? Or Maybe you have felt guilty about even trying to be a healthy mom and not living up to your ideal?
I’m going to share with you three questions that you can ask yourself when you’re feeling this sort of guilt and help you move past the guilt and into your purpose.
We want to make sure we are keeping a healthy mindset because that’s a huge part of living a healthy life – and honestly guilt doesn’t have it’s place.
How can we move past this guilt?
What is most important to me?
The very first question I would ask is: “does this align with my values?” “What’s important to me right now?”
For me that has changed even year to year (and that’s okay!) When I was a 20 year old no kids, what was important to me then is maybe a little bit different than how I am today.
Maybe our values change as we grow into motherhood. My values as a mom of a newborn versus a mom of a toddler and school aged kids, you can imagine it could vary through the different stages.
We need to know what’s important to YOU and what do you value most as a mom and as a healthy mom. That may take some brainstorming, so grab a notebook and write down what is important.
I feel like the guilt might come in when we’re misaligned with some core value that we have now.
If you ever studied about love languages and everything, my love language is quality time and so I feel a lot of guilt if I don’t spend quality time with the people that I love most.
I’ve had to realize that that that’s my love language and that’s not everybody else’s love language. Whenever people that I care about are busy and don’t have time to spend with me, it’s not personal.
How can I align my core value of quality time with the lifestyle that we have right now with two active kids one’s a toddler?
Spending quality time together each day is a huge way that I can fight mom guilt. If I make sure that every single day I have some one on one time with my kids where we’re going to sit down at the table (maybe do an art activity together or something) then I feel like I’ve showed up for my kids.
I feel like I’m being the best mom to them and it is something that is aligned with my love language and aligned with what is important to me.
As a healthy Mom, you can think about your health and what matters most to you. My goal is to be a healthy mom, but I don’t have guilt about certain things because I realized I don’t have to be as strict as I once was.
But if you’re feeling guilt, then you have to know where that’s coming from.
So think about where you can break down what is important to me, what matters most, what do I feel aligned with, and it’s gonna look different for everyone.
Am I doing my best?
The second thing question to ask is “Am I doing the best that I can right now?”
That’s something that I had to realize… Life can get crazy, but as we are going through life are we doing the best that we can in that moment?
And if you’re doing the best that you can given what circumstances are around you, then release that guilt and say you’re doing a good job. You know this happens sometimes, life isn’t perfect and we’re not perfect.
Think about how you can release some of that guilt by just saying “I am doing the best that I can right now.”
I also believe that this is where having healthy habits that you do every single day without having to think about really become important.
It could be as simple as drinking water each day, or getting in 10,000 steps each day. Again, it looks different for everyone but some of them having a solid foundation of healthy habits.
Stop comparing to someone’s highlight reel
The third questions is “Am I comparing my real life to someone else’s highlight reel?”
We all know these people on social media who only post the perfectly edited pictures and the perfect caption that follows.. and someone we try to compare our messy motherhood and think that we are failing.
The problem is that you don’t know what their real life really is…
What is going on behind the scenes? – you don’t really know.
Don’t let the comparison game rob you of your joy. Don’t try to live up to their highlight reel, because no one is perfect.
If you strive to be better than you were yesterday and keep growing into the mom you want to be, you will always win.
Am I doing the best that I can do today? If you’re doing your best, give yourself a star! Give yourself a high five, and then just release some of the guilt may be holding on to.